Bayonetta

The first game I have absolutely nothing good to say about.

As I said in my "about me" section, I'll be talking about old (and older) games as well. This game came out back in March. I should have never bought it.

This is a game in the vein of Devil May Cry and God of War. Only this game completely sucks ass, unlike those (barring Devil May Cry 2). Really the only good thing about this game is how well the basic combat of the game works.


The plot of this game is you are a witch who is searching for a jewel. Why? Good question. All I know is it is one of 2 gems called the Eyes of the World, and you are looking for it because someone hired you to do so. After that, it just turns into a game of soul searching and confusion in high heels.

The game has an upgrade system, but there is no point to it. It really just feels like it was tacked on because the developers said "hey, other games like this, have an upgrade system, so we need one!" There are only 2 things you really need to buy, and really only one, and they are alternate forms you can turn in to. The other things you can buy are items, attacks, accessories, and weapons.

Buying the attacks is a waste of time. You will never use them, because he standard repertoire of attacks is all you'll ever need, and even then you will maybe use 3 different ones (out of about 50). The accessories cost so much they are pretty much unaffordable, and buying items is moot because you get components to make them, and buy the time you will actually need the items you will have enough components to make quite a supply. Buying weapons I shouldn't even mention because the only weapons worth mentioning are obtained buy turning in golden LPs. basically, once you get the katana, you have no need to ever use another weapon.

The whole of the game is you killing angels because they are trying to kill you, which doesn't even make sense when you think about the story as a whole. I'm not going to give it away, but basically, if the angels would actually have killed you, the entirety of their plans would have crumbled on itself.

The game was billed as "nonstop climax action." The only reason it was is because they knew if they didn't throw a mental trigger like climax in there, they wouldn't have gotten near the sales number they did. Is the combat frantic? Yeah, sure. But its nothing much more than you would expect in other games of the like. The only time the term climax applies to the game is when you are finishing bosses and you "climax" to finish them. This involves Bayonetta using all her hair (which also happens to be her outfit) to summon demons to kill the angels.

There is this shit called witch time in the game, which is required to kill some of the tougher enemies in the game. The problem with that is that the duration it lasts is so short, and a lot of the time it just doesn't trigger, and sometimes it does but it just randomly ends for no reason. Couple this with the fact that most times, by the time you activate it and it doesn't just randomly end, that the enemy you need to use it on to kill is half way across the screen, by the time you reach them you have maybe enough time to get one hit in. Its just aggravating.

They also give you a Magic bar. This is useless. The only time it is used is when you are fighting enemies and you get the option to use a torture attack on them, and it uses the entire gauge. The gauge is difficult to refill, and generally if you get hit, you lose any magic you have built up. If using the gauge activated witch time, this would A) make sense; and B) be useful. But in a game as riddled with logic fallacies as this is, there isn't much reason to expect otherwise.

All in all, stay away from this game.