Monday, July 5, 2010

The Money Machine is Churning.

Sometimes it is best to never ruin a good thing.  Sometimes something was never good to begin with.  But more often than not, a bad thing is made worse by continuing to fuck with it.  Meet Paranormal Activity 2.
I know what a lot of you are thinking, because regrettably, the larger portion of society has seen Paranormal Activity, and that is, "how can they make a sequel?"

Its easy:  Hollywood doesn't give a damn about logic.  Why to you think M. Night Shayamalan still makes movies?  But we're not talking about him, we're going to talk about a movie that is just as shitty as anything he has done.

For anyone that hasn't seen Paranormal Activity, here is a brief rundown:

1) Dude and chick live in a house

2) Chick tells dude she thinks there are ghosts in the house, so dude buys a camera to try to record the ghosts.

3) Chick gets pissed at dude for making a mockery of it

4) Ghost turns out to be real

5) Ghost licks the chick's toes while she is sleeping one night

6) Ghost turns out to be a demon, and possesses the chick

7) Chick kills dude, credits roll.

Sounds simple right?  That's because it is.  The movie was made for something like, 10 thousand dollars.  It is billed as being a true story.  Or at least it was.  The movie wasn't scary at all, though admittedly, there were some parts that were pulled off very well.

At the end of the credits... well, let me stop there.  The movie doesn't have any credits per se.  The movie ends and it just says "Paramount would like to thank the families of XXX and XXX."  I don't remember their names, but whatever.  Anyway, there's some shit it says about how they found the body of the boyfriend 3 days after the events of the movie, and that the chick was never found.  My cousin watched the unrated version and he said at the end the cops when halloween on her and blasted her ass with bullets.  Don't take my word on that, I haven't seen it.

Regardless, from this, it looks like a new family has moved back into the house, and the chick has come back.

So, how does this all not make sense?  Because, in the first movie, they clearly said the demon was after the chick, and really no one else.  It has the chick, why does it need to go back to the house her and her boyfriend lived in?  And if this movie is as "spectacular" as the first, I can only assume I will never get an answer that makes sense.

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