Monday, July 5, 2010

Mario Kart Wii? Mario Kart No...

This game is highly on the verge of suckass.

I've always liked this series of games.  They have always been fun.  However, this one has me screaming "GOD DAMNIT!!" at my TV way more than it should.

What's wrong with this game?  For starters, there is too much shit flying around the courses.  With 12 racers, each of them getting triple red turtle shells, lightning bolts, pow blocks, and those god forsaken blue turtle shells, its god damn near impossible to keep a lead in any given race, and generally the best thing you can do is stay in 2nd or 3rd place and hope you can hold on to a triple red shell long enough so you can kill everyone when you get to the end of the third lap.  Its fucking stupid.

And spawning from that, the game is no longer about racing skill, its about getting enough power-ups to win.  Before, the game was about being able to actually drive your kart, and using the power-ups to keep it competitive.  Now, the game is just about pressing the gas button and spamming banana peels and shit.

Complicate that further by adding the fact that damn near every track is elevated, and with the horrible handling that is inherent in the game now, falling off and randomly falling back 9 positions is much to common.  Especially when it seems any fucking kart, regardless of its weight, can knock you sideways.  Which also causes you to lose your weapons randomly as well.  Its fucking stupid, too.

And that brings me to the motorcycles they felt needed to be added.  Gay.  I hate them.  They don't handle worth cock, and the only reason they are there is seemingly to piss you off when you are trying to get gold cups in all the racing circuits.  I hated doing 100cc because of how often I would be trying to drift around a turn (which is the only way to successfully navigate at least 90% of all turns in the game), I would turn my wheels to try to stay on course and randomly shoot off into oblivion.  Or get hit by someone else and the same thing would happen.

I would say I like the multiplayer part of the game, but honestly, the same thing that has plagued all Mario Kart online action still plaques this one: people who exploit game mechanics.

Fuck this game.  I'll finish 150cc circuits eventually, but I don't expect I'll get the same random entertainment out of this game as I did out of Double Dash or DS.

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