Thursday, September 23, 2010

Oh Look, More Nerd-Rage...

This link is all kinds of funny...

So, first off, I'm going to go ahead and say that a lot of what I read in the comments of the linked article is shit I did not know, because I don't give that much of a damn about video game developer politics, but after learning it, it boosted the lawlz-factor of what I read at least three fold.

What am I talking about?

The use of the word "innovative" of course!!

What is "innovation"?  Is it Making that machine gun  you pick up have exploding bullets that follow your crosshairs so you can shoot around corners?  Or is it doing what Bungie did, and getting extremely lucky by having the original Halo be purchased by Microsoft and released for the XBox at the time when it was becoming really popular with college students for its massive sports title releases?

Halo is a First person shooter.  There is nothing special about the game.  In fact, most people who owned a computer prior to the launch of the XBox had played probably at least 12 different FPS's prior to that point, and at least 5 of which were vastly superior to Halo in terms of gameplay.  But that's here nor there at this point.

We're talking about "innovation," and how apparently NO ONE EVER has played a game like Gears of War or Borderlands or Portal before.  Gears of War... I have played so many third person shooters before, its not even funny to comment about that game.  Borderlands...  a first person shooter with a quest system.  Wow, the mindless killing has a "purpose."  Give me a break.  Portal, a first person shooter that revolves around puzzles.  To me that just sounds boring, but a lot of people fell in love with that game.  Whatever man, to each their own.

And now this dude is saying that the upcoming game Breach is going to be innovative.  Let me tell you, innovative is a hype word, and nothing more.  Breach is just going to be another first person shooter.  Will it maybe have a few features not normally present in first person shooters?  Yeah, sure, but at the end of the day, you are still a guy with a gun killing bitches for fun.  There is nothing "innovative" about that.

Call Activision a big bad "innovation" killing company all you want, but the truth is, "innovation" is long dead.  As much as I detest it, the last bit of "innovation" in our world was the iPhone.  When the iPhone released, it changed what was expected of a phone.  It changed the market.  Gears of War changed nothing.  Borderlands changed nothing.  Portal changed nothing.  Halo changed nothing.  Breach will change nothing.  Get off your high horse, jackass.

Looking back at Borderlands, the game is fucking boring as shit.  All you do is run around a fucking desert killing bitches and picking up a thousand and 2 shit ass guns on some wild goose chase to find the "vault."  Sounds a lot like Fallout to me.  But wait.  I forgot, they have quests in Borderlands.

Big deal.  The story doesn't advance unless you take specific quests, so really, calling them quests is just another way of saying "this is your current objective," which has been around since video games has existed.  There is nothing new there.  Guns with acid and electricity and exploding bullets and shit.  Nothing new.  I saw that in Parasite Eve years and YEARS ago.  And probably in other shit before that that I can't rightly remember.

Gears of War.  They strapped a chainsaw on your big ass gun.  Doom had a chainsaw.  So did Ash.  And Ash had that shit attached to his arm.  And he had a Boom stick.

Portal.  Female lead.  Puzzle solving.  Sounds like Tomb Raider to me.

Don't talk to me about "innovation."  Changing how a menu looks, or adding the ability to upgrade a weapon or play as some fucked up alien in multiplayer is not "innovation."  "Innovation" is a game changer.  The Wii was innovation.  Halo was not.

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